Are You Stupid?
One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class.
He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?"
After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.
"Well, hello there sir. So you actually think you’re a moron?" the professor asked.
The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn’t want to see you standing there all by yourself."
He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?"
After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.
"Well, hello there sir. So you actually think you’re a moron?" the professor asked.
The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn’t want to see you standing there all by yourself."
Gift For The Teacher!
It was the kindergarten teachers birthday and the students decided that they would each buy their teacher a gift.
The first student, whose parents own a florist shop, gave her a present. She held it and said "I guess that it is flowers".
"How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She laughed and thanked him.
The second student, whose parents own a candy store, gave her a present. She held it and said, "I guess that is some candy."
"How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She again laughed and thanked him also.
The third student, whose parents own a bottle shop, gave her a box which was leaking. The teacher touched the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Mmmmm is it wine?" she asked.
"No," said the little girl.
So she tasted it again. "Is it champaigne?" she asked.
"No," replied the little girl, "It is a puppy."
The first student, whose parents own a florist shop, gave her a present. She held it and said "I guess that it is flowers".
"How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She laughed and thanked him.
The second student, whose parents own a candy store, gave her a present. She held it and said, "I guess that is some candy."
"How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She again laughed and thanked him also.
The third student, whose parents own a bottle shop, gave her a box which was leaking. The teacher touched the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Mmmmm is it wine?" she asked.
"No," said the little girl.
So she tasted it again. "Is it champaigne?" she asked.
"No," replied the little girl, "It is a puppy."
Punished For Something That I Didn't Do!
One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that
I didn't do."
The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that
you didn't do?"
The little girl replied, "My homework."
I didn't do."
The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that
you didn't do?"
The little girl replied, "My homework."
A Young Scientist Experiment!!
A policeman stops a motorcyclist.
"Why do you wear a woolen cap instead of a helmet?"
"For safety reasons".
"You must be joking!"
"Not at all! I conducted an experiment. I threw the cap and helmet from the tenth floor. The helmet broke into pieces but the cap didn't!"
"Why do you wear a woolen cap instead of a helmet?"
"For safety reasons".
"You must be joking!"
"Not at all! I conducted an experiment. I threw the cap and helmet from the tenth floor. The helmet broke into pieces but the cap didn't!"
The 10 Most Annoying Alarm Clocks!!
#10 - Climbing clock. It hangs above your head and starts climbing while it rings. Don't wake up fast enough, and you won't be able to shut it up without a ladder.
# 9 Wake Up Puzzle . You have to build the puzzle to make it stop
# 8 Wake or Curse . You can ask it what the time is and it will answer. But if you don't wake up quickly enough it will curse you.
# 7 High Tech . This one has a vibrator, 95 db alarm and police style rotating light that you cannot ignore.
# 6 Find The Pin - You need find the right pin to stop it's ringing. Not going to stay sleepy after this mission.
# 5 Chicken and Egg Problem - The egg laying alarm clock. It will only quiet down after you put all the eggs back.
# 4 GI Joe . You will wake to the sound of your commander's wake up call. Don't mess with it.
# 3 Floating Around - Will float around the room until you'll catch it.
# 2 Kaboom - This acoustic grenade will wake the neighborhood with it's ultra loud sound level.
# 1 Hide and Seek - The winner is the hide and seek alarm clock. Once it begins to ring it falls down to the floor and finds a random place to hide. Chase it down or else you're doomed.
# 9 Wake Up Puzzle . You have to build the puzzle to make it stop
# 8 Wake or Curse . You can ask it what the time is and it will answer. But if you don't wake up quickly enough it will curse you.
# 7 High Tech . This one has a vibrator, 95 db alarm and police style rotating light that you cannot ignore.
# 6 Find The Pin - You need find the right pin to stop it's ringing. Not going to stay sleepy after this mission.
# 5 Chicken and Egg Problem - The egg laying alarm clock. It will only quiet down after you put all the eggs back.
# 4 GI Joe . You will wake to the sound of your commander's wake up call. Don't mess with it.
# 3 Floating Around - Will float around the room until you'll catch it.
# 2 Kaboom - This acoustic grenade will wake the neighborhood with it's ultra loud sound level.
# 1 Hide and Seek - The winner is the hide and seek alarm clock. Once it begins to ring it falls down to the floor and finds a random place to hide. Chase it down or else you're doomed.
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