Hilarious Court Cases!!

These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court." These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.


Q: What is your date of birth?


A: July fifteenth.


Q: What year?


A: Every year.


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Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?


A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"


Q: And why did that upset you?


A: My name is Susan.


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Q: And where was the location of the accident?


A: Approximately milepost 499.


Q: And where is milepost 499?


A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.


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Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?


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Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?


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Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?


A: Yes.


Q: And what were you doing at that time?


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Q: She had three children, right?


A: Yes.


Q: How many were boys?


A: None.


Q: Were there any girls?


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Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?


A: Yes.


Q: And these stairs, did they go up! also?


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Q: How was your first marriage terminated?


A: By death.


Q: And by whose death was it terminated?


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Q: Can you describe the individual?


A: He was about medium height and had a beard.


Q: Was this a male or a female?


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Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?


A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.


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Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?


A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.


Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?


A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.


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Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?


A: No.


Q: Did you check for blood pressure?


A: No.


Q: Did you check for breathing?


A: No.


Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the


autopsy?


A: No.


Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?


A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.


Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?


A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law