Are You Stupid?
One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class.
He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?"
After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.
"Well, hello there sir. So you actually think you’re a moron?" the professor asked.
The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn’t want to see you standing there all by yourself."
He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?"
After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.
"Well, hello there sir. So you actually think you’re a moron?" the professor asked.
The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn’t want to see you standing there all by yourself."
Gift For The Teacher!
It was the kindergarten teachers birthday and the students decided that they would each buy their teacher a gift.
The first student, whose parents own a florist shop, gave her a present. She held it and said "I guess that it is flowers".
"How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She laughed and thanked him.
The second student, whose parents own a candy store, gave her a present. She held it and said, "I guess that is some candy."
"How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She again laughed and thanked him also.
The third student, whose parents own a bottle shop, gave her a box which was leaking. The teacher touched the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Mmmmm is it wine?" she asked.
"No," said the little girl.
So she tasted it again. "Is it champaigne?" she asked.
"No," replied the little girl, "It is a puppy."
The first student, whose parents own a florist shop, gave her a present. She held it and said "I guess that it is flowers".
"How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She laughed and thanked him.
The second student, whose parents own a candy store, gave her a present. She held it and said, "I guess that is some candy."
"How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She again laughed and thanked him also.
The third student, whose parents own a bottle shop, gave her a box which was leaking. The teacher touched the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Mmmmm is it wine?" she asked.
"No," said the little girl.
So she tasted it again. "Is it champaigne?" she asked.
"No," replied the little girl, "It is a puppy."
Punished For Something That I Didn't Do!
One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that
I didn't do."
The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that
you didn't do?"
The little girl replied, "My homework."
I didn't do."
The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that
you didn't do?"
The little girl replied, "My homework."
A Young Scientist Experiment!!
A policeman stops a motorcyclist.
"Why do you wear a woolen cap instead of a helmet?"
"For safety reasons".
"You must be joking!"
"Not at all! I conducted an experiment. I threw the cap and helmet from the tenth floor. The helmet broke into pieces but the cap didn't!"
"Why do you wear a woolen cap instead of a helmet?"
"For safety reasons".
"You must be joking!"
"Not at all! I conducted an experiment. I threw the cap and helmet from the tenth floor. The helmet broke into pieces but the cap didn't!"
The 10 Most Annoying Alarm Clocks!!
#10 - Climbing clock. It hangs above your head and starts climbing while it rings. Don't wake up fast enough, and you won't be able to shut it up without a ladder.
# 9 Wake Up Puzzle . You have to build the puzzle to make it stop
# 8 Wake or Curse . You can ask it what the time is and it will answer. But if you don't wake up quickly enough it will curse you.
# 7 High Tech . This one has a vibrator, 95 db alarm and police style rotating light that you cannot ignore.
# 6 Find The Pin - You need find the right pin to stop it's ringing. Not going to stay sleepy after this mission.
# 5 Chicken and Egg Problem - The egg laying alarm clock. It will only quiet down after you put all the eggs back.
# 4 GI Joe . You will wake to the sound of your commander's wake up call. Don't mess with it.
# 3 Floating Around - Will float around the room until you'll catch it.
# 2 Kaboom - This acoustic grenade will wake the neighborhood with it's ultra loud sound level.
# 1 Hide and Seek - The winner is the hide and seek alarm clock. Once it begins to ring it falls down to the floor and finds a random place to hide. Chase it down or else you're doomed.
# 9 Wake Up Puzzle . You have to build the puzzle to make it stop
# 8 Wake or Curse . You can ask it what the time is and it will answer. But if you don't wake up quickly enough it will curse you.
# 7 High Tech . This one has a vibrator, 95 db alarm and police style rotating light that you cannot ignore.
# 6 Find The Pin - You need find the right pin to stop it's ringing. Not going to stay sleepy after this mission.
# 5 Chicken and Egg Problem - The egg laying alarm clock. It will only quiet down after you put all the eggs back.
# 4 GI Joe . You will wake to the sound of your commander's wake up call. Don't mess with it.
# 3 Floating Around - Will float around the room until you'll catch it.
# 2 Kaboom - This acoustic grenade will wake the neighborhood with it's ultra loud sound level.
# 1 Hide and Seek - The winner is the hide and seek alarm clock. Once it begins to ring it falls down to the floor and finds a random place to hide. Chase it down or else you're doomed.
Men Never Listen!!
A man traveling by plane and in urgent need to use the mens room is nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the mens room door, it was "OCCUPIED".
The stewardess, aware of his predicament suggested that he go ahead and use the ladies room, but cautioned him against using any of the buttons inside.
The buttons were marked "WW, WA, PP and ATR".
Making the mistake that so many men make in disregarding the importance of what a woman says, the man let his curiosity get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyway.
He carefully pressed the first button marked "WW" and immediately warm water sprayed all over his entire bottom.
He thought, "WOW, the women really have it made!".
Still curious, he pressed the button marked "WA" and a gentle breeze of warm air quickly dried his hind quarters.
He thought that was out of this world! The button marked "PP" yielded a large powder puff which delicately applied a soft talc to his rear.
Well, naturally he couldn't resist the last button marked "ATR".
When he woke up in the hospital he panicked and buzzed for the nurse.
When she appeared, he cried out, "What happened to me?! The last thing I remember is I was in the ladies room on a business trip!"
The nurse replied, "Yes, you were having a great time until you pressed the 'ATR' button which stands for Automatic Tampon Remover... Your penis is under your pillow!"
The stewardess, aware of his predicament suggested that he go ahead and use the ladies room, but cautioned him against using any of the buttons inside.
The buttons were marked "WW, WA, PP and ATR".
Making the mistake that so many men make in disregarding the importance of what a woman says, the man let his curiosity get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyway.
He carefully pressed the first button marked "WW" and immediately warm water sprayed all over his entire bottom.
He thought, "WOW, the women really have it made!".
Still curious, he pressed the button marked "WA" and a gentle breeze of warm air quickly dried his hind quarters.
He thought that was out of this world! The button marked "PP" yielded a large powder puff which delicately applied a soft talc to his rear.
Well, naturally he couldn't resist the last button marked "ATR".
When he woke up in the hospital he panicked and buzzed for the nurse.
When she appeared, he cried out, "What happened to me?! The last thing I remember is I was in the ladies room on a business trip!"
The nurse replied, "Yes, you were having a great time until you pressed the 'ATR' button which stands for Automatic Tampon Remover... Your penis is under your pillow!"
Lateral Thinking!!
Scroll down slowly and try to solve each of 13 puzzles.
Each is a well known phrase with answers below.
Good Luck.
1.
man
------------
board
Ans. = man overboard
Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.
2.
stand
------------
i
Ans. = I understand
3.
/r/e/a/d/i/n/ g/
Ans. = reading between the lines
4.
r
road
a
d
Ans. = cross road
5.
cycle
cycle
cycle
Ans. = tricycle
6.
0
------------
M.D.
Ph.D.
Ans. = two degrees below zero
7.
knee
------------
light
Ans. = neon light (knee-on-light)
8.
ground
---------------
feet feet feet feet feet feet
Ans. = six feet underground
9.
he's X himself
Ans. = he's by himself
10.
ecnalg
Ans. = backward glance
11.
death . life
Ans. = life after death
12.
THINK
Ans. = think big!!
And the last one is reallt fun......... ...
13.
ababaaabbbbaaaabbbb ababaabbaaabbbb. ...
Ans. = long time no 'C' (see)
Each is a well known phrase with answers below.
Good Luck.
1.
man
------------
board
Ans. = man overboard
Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.
2.
stand
------------
i
Ans. = I understand
3.
/r/e/a/d/i/n/ g/
Ans. = reading between the lines
4.
r
road
a
d
Ans. = cross road
5.
cycle
cycle
cycle
Ans. = tricycle
6.
0
------------
M.D.
Ph.D.
Ans. = two degrees below zero
7.
knee
------------
light
Ans. = neon light (knee-on-light)
8.
ground
---------------
feet feet feet feet feet feet
Ans. = six feet underground
9.
he's X himself
Ans. = he's by himself
10.
ecnalg
Ans. = backward glance
11.
death . life
Ans. = life after death
12.
THINK
Ans. = think big!!
And the last one is reallt fun......... ...
13.
ababaaabbbbaaaabbbb ababaabbaaabbbb. ...
Ans. = long time no 'C' (see)
Missing Tool!!
John was looking for a little "action." He picked up a sweet young thing at the bar and took her back to his hotel room.
Little did he know that she was darn near a nymphomaniac. After six times having s*x, she was screaming for more. After the eighth time, Jon told her that he needed to slip out for a pack of cigarettes.
On the way out, he stopped into the men's room. He stood in front of the urinal, unzipped his pants, and felt a moment of panic when he couldn't find his tool.
After a couple of minutes fishing around, he finally said, "Look, it's okay. She's not here!"
Little did he know that she was darn near a nymphomaniac. After six times having s*x, she was screaming for more. After the eighth time, Jon told her that he needed to slip out for a pack of cigarettes.
On the way out, he stopped into the men's room. He stood in front of the urinal, unzipped his pants, and felt a moment of panic when he couldn't find his tool.
After a couple of minutes fishing around, he finally said, "Look, it's okay. She's not here!"
Fun Facts From Infection Control!
During an hour's swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1/12 liter of urine.
In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises (touching door handles, etc.)
An average person's yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs.
In a year you will have swallowed 14 insects - while you slept!
Annually you will shake hands with 11 women who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.
Annually you will shake hands with 6 men who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.
In a lifetime 22 workmen will have examined the contents of your dirty linen basket.
At an average wedding reception you have a 1/100 chance of getting a cold sore from one of the guests.
Daily you will breath in 1 liter of other peoples' anal gases.
HAVE A GREAT DAY...
and wash your damn hands!
In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises (touching door handles, etc.)
An average person's yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs.
In a year you will have swallowed 14 insects - while you slept!
Annually you will shake hands with 11 women who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.
Annually you will shake hands with 6 men who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.
In a lifetime 22 workmen will have examined the contents of your dirty linen basket.
At an average wedding reception you have a 1/100 chance of getting a cold sore from one of the guests.
Daily you will breath in 1 liter of other peoples' anal gases.
HAVE A GREAT DAY...
and wash your damn hands!
Nice Trick in Google Images!
Try this it's really cool ......
1. Go to Google
2. Click images
3. Type "Katrina Halili" or any other word.
4. You will get a page which is having full of images
5. Then delete the URL from the address bar and paste the below script
[ javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI= document.images; DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i ]
1. Go to Google
2. Click images
3. Type "Katrina Halili" or any other word.
4. You will get a page which is having full of images
5. Then delete the URL from the address bar and paste the below script
[ javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI= document.images; DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i
Do You Really Have To Be Smart To Be A Lawyer?
It must be such a relief for you to find out it's not only Football Commentators who say the stupidest things !
Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers' Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses:
"Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
"The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"
"Were you present when your picture was taken?"
Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for breathing?"
A: "No."
Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
A: "No."
Q: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
"Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"
"Did he kill you?"
"How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
"You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
"How many times have you committed suicide?"
Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"
Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"
Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
A: "I went to Europe, Sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"
Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by who's death was it terminated?"
Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male, or a female?"
Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."
Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."
Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?"
A: "Oral."
Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."
Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?"
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel."
Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"
A: "I have been since early childhood.
Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers' Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses:
"Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
"The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"
"Were you present when your picture was taken?"
Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for breathing?"
A: "No."
Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
A: "No."
Q: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
"Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"
"Did he kill you?"
"How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
"You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
"How many times have you committed suicide?"
Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"
Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"
Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
A: "I went to Europe, Sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"
Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by who's death was it terminated?"
Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male, or a female?"
Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."
Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."
Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?"
A: "Oral."
Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."
Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?"
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel."
Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"
A: "I have been since early childhood.
I'm Fine!!
A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Clyde .
"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer.
Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite mule, Bessie, into the..."
"I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"
Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road...."
The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde 's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite mule, Bessie".
Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favourite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move.
However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, "How are you feeling?"
"Now what the hell would you say?
"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer.
Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite mule, Bessie, into the..."
"I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"
Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road...."
The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde 's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite mule, Bessie".
Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favourite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move.
However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, "How are you feeling?"
"Now what the hell would you say?
Embarrassing Situations!
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Erm, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"
Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says,
"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a university student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs "What do you mean, 400 Dollars!?"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"
Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says,
"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a university student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs "What do you mean, 400 Dollars!?"
Doctor Dave!
Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't.
The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming.
But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said:
"Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go.."
But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering:......
Dave.............
..............you're a vet"!!
The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming.
But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said:
"Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go.."
But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering:......
Dave.............
..............you're a vet"!!
Elephant!
A man walks into the doctors surgery, he can't even sit down.
The doctor asks "What’s the problem with you today? You seem to be in a lot of pain".
The man says he has an embarrassing thing to show him. The doctor explains that he has seen everything possible in his years as a doctor, therefore nothing will shock him.
So the man proceeds to drop his trousers and bend over.
The doctor gasps and says "What on earth happened to you?!! You have a massive hole in your bottom".
The man explained that he had just been on holiday in Africa. "I was raped by a male elephant" said the man.
At this point the doctor said, if this were true you wouldn’t be as damaged as that because the p3n!s on a male elephant isn’t that large.
At this point the man said "Yes I know that, but he fingered me first"
The doctor asks "What’s the problem with you today? You seem to be in a lot of pain".
The man says he has an embarrassing thing to show him. The doctor explains that he has seen everything possible in his years as a doctor, therefore nothing will shock him.
So the man proceeds to drop his trousers and bend over.
The doctor gasps and says "What on earth happened to you?!! You have a massive hole in your bottom".
The man explained that he had just been on holiday in Africa. "I was raped by a male elephant" said the man.
At this point the doctor said, if this were true you wouldn’t be as damaged as that because the p3n!s on a male elephant isn’t that large.
At this point the man said "Yes I know that, but he fingered me first"
Three Wishes!
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes."
The woman freed the frog.
The frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"
The woman said, "That would be okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to."
The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That will be okay because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered. "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story:
Women are clever bitches. Don't mess with them.
The woman freed the frog.
The frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"
The woman said, "That would be okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to."
The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That will be okay because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered. "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story:
Women are clever bitches. Don't mess with them.
Tan-awa Sâ Ang Piktyur Den Basaha .....
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These are signs in Japanese metro trains:
'Priority seats for ................',
From left to right:
1. Person with injured arm
2. Person holding a child
3. Pregnant woman
4. Person with injured leg
Not at all what U thought !!!
Latest Method To Cheat In Exam!
Have you ever cheated in your exam? How do you do it ? Ever get caught?
Well, the conventional way of cheating is over! Let's look at the latest way!
1. Type out your notes in the computer:
2. Make sure to resize the font size 6:
3. Print out the notes with your own printer:
4. Make copy of the note using "toner based" photo copier:
5. Stick a layer of transparent adhesive tapes on the copied notes:
6. Cut them into strips according to the size of the adhesive tape:
7. Soak the strips in cold water:
8. After a few minutes, peel off the adhesive tape from the paper carefully:
You will be able to see that your notes have been transferred to the tapes..
If you are so lucky to have a clueless teacher, you may just bring the adhesive notes into the exam hall and stick it directly at the answer sheet.. Alternatively, you may have to stick it on your pen before you go into the exam hall:
Or you may also stick it on your drink:
Well, the conventional way of cheating is over! Let's look at the latest way!
1. Type out your notes in the computer:
2. Make sure to resize the font size 6:
3. Print out the notes with your own printer:
4. Make copy of the note using "toner based" photo copier:
5. Stick a layer of transparent adhesive tapes on the copied notes:
6. Cut them into strips according to the size of the adhesive tape:
7. Soak the strips in cold water:
8. After a few minutes, peel off the adhesive tape from the paper carefully:
You will be able to see that your notes have been transferred to the tapes..
If you are so lucky to have a clueless teacher, you may just bring the adhesive notes into the exam hall and stick it directly at the answer sheet.. Alternatively, you may have to stick it on your pen before you go into the exam hall:
Or you may also stick it on your drink:
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