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Wanna Learn Logic from Erap?

One day Erap saw Cory reading a book on Logic..

Erap: Cory mahirap ata yang binabasa mo?

Cory: Hindi, logic lang to madali lang..

Erap: Eh ano ba yang logic di ko ata alam.

Cory: Ganto lang yan, may aquarium ka ba sa bahay?

Erap: Meron

Cory: Kung my aquarium ka eh di mahilig ka sa isda?

Erap: Oo

Cory: At kung mahilig ka sa isda, mahilig ka rin sa dagat?

Erap: Oo

Cory: Kung mahilig ka sa dagat, gusto mo sa Beach?

Erap: Oo

Cory: Kung mahilig ka sa Beach, mahilig ka din sa mga babaeng naka bathing suit?

Erap: Oo.

Cory: Eh kung mahilig ka sa sexing babae na naka bathing suit, lalaking lalaki ka? eh di macho ka?

Erap; Oo

Cory: Kita mo na, Ganyan lang ang logic..

Erap: Ok pla yang logic na yan huh..!




The next day, Erap saw Piolo Pascual..

Erap: Piolo subukan ko lang itong tinuro saking logic ni Cory.

Piolo: Cge nga!

Erap: May aquarium kaba sa bahay?

Piolo: wala..

Erap: Bakla ka nga...

Traydor Jud Si Judas!

Jesus was getting more and more annoyed at the drugs problem on earth. He called an emergency meeting with his apostles and after a few hours, they all decided that they needed more information. So the apostles volunteered to go on earth and to bring back samples of each drug. After a few days, the apostles start coming back.

Knock knock.. "Who's there?" "It's Paul."
Jesus opens the door "What did you bring back, Paul?"
"Haschich from Morrocco." "Excellent, come in."

Knock knock.. "Who's there?" "It's Mark."
Jesus opens the door "What did you bring back, Marc?"
"Marijuana from Columbia." "Excellent, come in."

Knock knock.. "Who's there?" "It's Matthew."
Jesus opens the door "What did you bring back, Matthew?"
"Cocaine from Columbia." "Excellent, come in."

Knock knock.. "Who's there?" "It's John."
Jesus opens the door "What did you bring back, John?"
"Ecstasy from Montreal." "Excellent, come in."

Knock knock.. "Who's there?" "It's Luke."
Jesus opens the door "What did you bring back, Luke?"
"Speed from Amsterdam." "Excellent, come in."

Knock knock.. "Who's there?" "It's Judas."
Jesus opens the door "What did you bring back, Judas?"
"FBI!!! EVERYONE UP AGAINST THE WALL!!!"

Imelda Goes To Heaven!

                "Imelda dies and goes to heaven. The heavenly court is gathered to 

                welcome all the newcomers to heaven. God the Father is there seated 

                on his throne in all his splendor. The Second Person of the Trinity 

                is there also, and the Holy Spirit, the Virgin Mary, and all the saints. 

                As Imelda enters, everyone stands up ­ except God the Father, who 

                does not get up from his throne. Jesus, the second Person of the 

                Trinity turns to him, and says, "Heavenly Father, what's the matter? 

                Why don't you stand up to welcome Imelda Marcos? 

                God the Father replies: "I am afraid to lose my seat. If I stand up 

                she will take my throne."